Belonging: Answering the Call of Community
by Pamela Law, D.Div., Ph.D., GC-C(Retired)
Introduction
Do not separate Yourself from the Community.
-Hillel
Pirkei Avot, Chapter 2, Mishnah 5
2,000 years ago, Hillel, the Sage taught: Do not separate yourself from the community. His wisdom in Pirkei Avot, Ethics of the Ancestors rings true substantively today, after we have emerged from a global pandemic, experience alarming rises in anti-Jewish hate and violence, and live amidst an epidemic of loneliness which has been shown to negatively impact an individual’s health and wellness. What actions can we take as Jews to help any person with disabilities who wants to engage more fully in the richness of our spiritual tradition, to be able to do so? How can we help communities grow in their ability to create and cultivate an environment grounded in inclusion and belonging? It is my hope that this somewhat scholarly paper presented in a conversational style, infused with wisdom of our Torah, teachings of our Ancestors, writings and teachings of modern Jewish leaders who are also taking action to serve the cultivation of communities that allow all who show up to find they are not only welcomed but belong, exactly as they are, will open you to new insights and opportunities for contemplate how and where you feel you belong.
…And God created man in His image; in the image of God, He created him; male and
female He created them.
—Genesis 1:27
I want to share a reflective process on deepening a sense of belonging in Jewish community as a person with numerous physical disabilities that leave me with debilitating daily chronic pain and chronic exhaustion. It was deeply healing to me as a Jew-by-Choice to come home to Judaism and find that a fundamental belief in our tradition is that each of us is holy, containing a spark of the Divine within us to propel us in our unique purpose. Judaism takes the belief that a human is created b’tselem Elohim, in God’s image, one step further in opening our minds to the very idea that we can and should consider God’s part in the creation of disability. Our Torah gives us important insights into disability.
Torah study opens us to the wisdom of a compassionate understanding that affords individuals with disabilities of any kind respect, kindness, and dignity. We learn from our tradition’s greatest leader, Moses, who had a speech impediment for which he felt shame. God communicated to Moses with great sensitivity and care that He was not ashamed of Moses or his disability which would not interfere with his ability to contribute meaningfully in service to others (Oliver, 2009; Watts-Belser, 2023).
I refer to my life as a living prayer. I am actively praying in a variety of ways deep within my soul, while engaging my mind in study of Torah, and when striving to apply embodied Jewish spirituality to my daily life. I would like us to begin our journey of belonging here together in prayer, offering the healing words of beloved Jewish poet, liturgist, rabbinic student and author, Alden Solovy, who generously shared two prayerful poems with you for this paper(one now; one to come at the end of our scholarly belonging journey). Please join me in reciting Alden’s beautiful words, For Those Who Endure Chronic Conditions (2022); reprinted with generous permission of the author:
Rock and Shelter,
Grant us all the ability
To see each other’s humanity clearly,
To cherish each other’s individuality,
To care deeply about one another,
To mourn our losses and
Celebrate our victories together,
So that we live, act, and pray.
As one community
Of care and blessing.
We will journey with our ancestors in their early journey into freedom, while applying modern insights into group dynamics and processes. The wisdom of our Torah and other sacred texts help us usher in our present era with a more expansive set of ideas with which to impact our modern society which often limits persons with disabilities, even after the implementation of the Americans with Disabilities Act in 1990, which does not impose legal requirements on religious institutions to implement requested accommodations, unlike public and other private organizations.
Many Jews have taken active steps to bring innovative system changes, based on Jewish values to make Judaism a more welcoming space to be included and belong. Whether you are actively engaged in one or more organizations in your Jewish life, I hope you find in this paper the opportunity to reflect on your own Jewish journey, as I share some of mine, and find greater insights into how you want to belong, how you know you belong, and how you can help the Jewish organization(s) most important to you to become more welcoming, inclusive and a space for belonging.
Together, we will explore Judaism’s unique approach to leadership that makes such initiatives more likely to succeed in promoting pervasive systems change, allowing persons with any disability to engage more fully in Jewish life. We are going to follow our ancestors’ early journey in freedom through their process of liberation and growth to see how their journey mirrors modern day group processes that can help us facilitate positive change in our own community organizations. Let’s begin by considering our Ancestors as a group emerging from enslavement to liberation and meaningful connection and relate it to modern research about how groups form, develop, and ultimately flourish.
Group Formation and Development
For the purposes of our discussion here today, we know that the Israelites are a couple of years into their journey out of Mitzrayim and though struggling with chronic stress and survival instincts, they have completed the forming stage and remain in need of visionary leadership and clarification of roles and responsibilities.
Dr. Bruce Tuckman (1965) Tuckman was fundamentally preoccupied with human motivation and hypothesized what is occurring in groups through his educational and psychological research, developing a sequential process that reflects how small groups move through from beginning to completion of the apportioned tasks. Tuckman (1965) has become quite famous in leadership circles for his research into group dynamics and interpersonal relationships, much of what could have been found in our Sacred Torah.
Tuckman’s proposed theory is now widely received as a useful conceptualization of the evolutionary process of groups unfolding from formation to dissolution occurring in a series of stages marked with notable frequency, and how the group moves from conflict to efficiently meeting objectives for its existence. Tuckman’s theoretical stages of group development include forming, storming, norming, performing, and later dissolving was added (Tuckman & Jensen, 1977). I want us to reflect on how our ancestors progressed as a group as they emerged from enslavement to liberation, while simultaneously considering Tuckman’s theoretically, and now widely accepted stages of group development, in the hopes of illuminating our focus of this paper: belonging.
Forming
We find that as the Israelites come together in a new task of emerging from the constriction of enslavement moving towards freedom and a greater way of being in community. Like all groups, their process begins choppy, uneven, conflict-ridden and still a bit fearfully distrusting. (Tuckman, 1965), God speaks directly to Moses with clear instructions to build a sacred space that fosters deepening relationship with the Divine for the gathering Levites.
God calls this gathering place, The Tent of Meeting, “a proper or appropriate space/place” (Fiegelson, 5784). God further clarifies how to fashion the menorah to kindle light and raise the lamp to illumine our individual light and inspire our collective light in action of service to each other and to God. As Jews, we have a delightful relationship with paradox that allows us to hold both facets of something as a way of understanding more deeply what we are learning. This is evident in God’s detailed instructions of the menorah as it relates to humility, or anavah. We are a part of the Divine, while simultaneously understanding that each of us has unique spark of the Divine that is ours to bring forth to the world in service of the greater good (Fiegelson, 5784).
Our group has long been formed and is anticipated to be about two years into their journey from enslavement in Egypt to freedom from Mitzrayim or narrowness/constriction. What follows their journey from forming is the bumpy, distrustful phase called storming.
Storming
Storming is marked by the people’s complaints about the need for meat, and the rich spices and vegetables that were provided a plenty, delusionally (Sacks, 5781) reported as being provided at no cost to them, other than their very own liberty, so a mighty cost indeed (Marx, 2025). They are journeying into the unknown and the unknown is scary. They must take responsibility and act to support their own well-being. They struggle with this new responsibility and with accepting and trusting that Divine sustenance will be reliably provided to them (Bitachon), like food was in Egypt, albeit at the cost of their freedom (Marx, 2025; Sacks, 5781).
Interpersonal conflict runs rampant, partly fueled by confusion and defensiveness in this storming phase (Tuckman, 1965). We also see Moses’ brother, Aaron, and his sister, Miriam, betray and abandon their brother, while Moses was initially able to remain calm in the storm of the sting of abandonment by those closest to him. Reflecting, I was immediately taken by the chronic stress and trauma our ancestors faced and were facing. I would like to expound on modern understandings of chronic stress and trauma that surely were impeding our ancestors’ journey and adding to the storming phase of their process.
Author Priya Parker, in her forthcoming release, The Art of Fighting: The Transformative Power of Conflict (Release date 09082026) contends that every group must experience conflict to have effective relationships. Change and growth are disruptive by nature and can be most difficult to navigate. The strength of the bonds we form in effective relationships will propel our group’s success in delivering the results we formed to complete. Parker’s take on conflict depicts a modern understanding of the usefulness of the storming process in group development, as formulated by Tuckman (1965).
Trauma
When individuals experience events that leave them in a state of chronic or prolonged stress, the ability to respond to life’s changing circumstances can be impacted negatively. Our brains are hardwired for survival. When we experience threats to our survival, individuals may react with responses that are more widely known today: fight, flight, or freeze (Scaer, 2014). Fawning was added in modern research in 2013(Walker, 2021). When any of those three stereotypical responses occur repeatedly, the person becomes locked, albeit often lacking conscious awareness, that they are responding from survival mode. This level of stuckness leaves a person in a compromised ability to make meaningful, goal-driven choices. Rather, they often respond in ways that can be alienating to others who can see the stuckness, frustrating to the person who is acting with limited sight at their situation and mire a collective group unable to move forward effectively to make lasting change. Chronic stress and prolonged trauma responses are debilitating in their ability to impede positive choice and fuel proactive change for the better (Scaer, 2014).
Acclaimed Jewish authors have written extensively about Jewish trauma, its impact on our shared history. Dr. Viktor Frankl is author of my all-time favorite book, Man’s Search for Meaning (1992 edition). I highly recommend Rabbi David Wolpe’s treatise, Making Loss Matter (2000). I have a custom of writing to authors who’s books have touched me to thank them (mailing to their publisher). Rabbi Wolpe was the first rabbi I wrote to after reading this book in 2000 and his kind response was imbued with Jewish wisdom and values. Rabbi Steve Leder (2017) writes powerfully about resiliently transcending physical and emotional pain into an experience of beauty. Rabbi Dr. Tirzah Firestone (2019) has written beautifully on intergenerational trauma and healing, Rabbi Dr. Caryn Aviv (2026) about unlearning Jewish anxiety and phenomenal insights into resilience in the face of anti-Jewish hate.
“If Only”
When we hear an individual commonly state the short but powerfully meaningful phrase, “If only…..” we can be clued into signs that the person or group is living in survival mode as their primary way of operating in the world that has become overwhelming, confusing, and frustrating. They are longing for what was, for what was at least made sense. (Scaer, 2014).
We can readily imagine that forty years wandering in the desert enslaved to narrowed perceptions and experiences very well may alter the ability to adapt not only of an individual or two, but, in the case of our ancestors, substantively impact much of the group in fear, and even struggling to move forward.
Why?
“A song of ascents. From the depths I have called You, O Lord.”
-Psalms 130:1
Another common complaint is rooted in the often perceived as rhetorical question, Why? Though oftentimes a person who is crying out, Why? is actually seeking a legitimate answer to explain their suffering, their confusion, their isolation in shockingly surprising, changing circumstances. It is important to listen to the possibly unspoken word or two that may follow the hollow sounding cry of, “Why?,” such as “Why me?,” “Why now?,” “Why this?,” “Why us?,” or “Why am I stuck/hurting/struggling?”, to allow the person to feel heard by a compassionate witness/listener who is acting to facilitate healing by listening with care(Herman, 1992). It is a desperately lonely and isolating feeling to cry out these questions and receive no comforting response, care, or potential helpful solution. Rabbi David Wolpe (2000) eloquently writes about feelings of grief and helplessness, and how to apply Jewish wisdom to move from a pained, WHY towards HOW can I make this experience meaningful with care and compassion.
Leaders
Even leaders can find themselves, crying out, “WHY?” Rabbi Sacks’ reflections on Moses’ cries and crises artfully echoed the very loneliness that propelled said cries have been experienced by other Jewish leaders who followed Moses right through to modern Jewish thinkers and leaders. What is essential within the loneliness is to find one’s way back to Hashem, to call out meaningfully(a practice called hitbodedut or personal prayer) believing in full faith and trust(Emunah and Bitachon) that your cries will not only be heard but be answered, that in every circumstance, there is only God, ein od milvado(Brody, 2021). Go deep within your being in silence and cry out to know that to continue, one most keep returning to God as an action of teshuvah, a continual return to Source and supply (Sacks, 5780; Silverstein, 5786).
MOSES, Our Greatest Leader
Moses cries out to God, much like a person who has experienced chronic stress and trauma, asking WHY? Moses is so devastated by his perception that his followers are not grateful for their steadfast supply of nourishment provided by Hashem, their forward progression out of and further away from enslavement and all the restriction it implies, that he cries out to be dead, rather than to live like this. Rabbi Jonathan Sacks Z"L wrote eloquently about Moses struggle in his 5783 Covenant & Conversation piece entitled, From Despair to Hope.
Mental health crises are cries of desperation, isolation, loneliness, alluding to the mistaken notion that they are alone in their struggle and nothing meaningful is going to change the circumstances in such a way to make life worth living any longer. Finding meaning in one’s experience seems impossible, at best. To be at the brink of suicidal ideation, whether it be talking about death, thinking about death, planning ways to end one’s own life, and, most importantly any intention to act on thoughts of self-harm are as dangerous as can be for any individual experiencing this level of crisis and breakdown of defense mechanisms that may lift one from such devastation(Frankl, 1992; Scaer, 2014).
Austrian Jewish Psychiatrist and Holocaust Survivor, Dr. Viktor Frankl (1992) wrote so eloquently in his powerful magnum opus, Man’s Search for Meaning, that crises like what Moses was experience are a sure sign of one’s humanness, rather than to be pathologized. Frankl outlined clearly that crises can be overcome when a path of purpose gives meaning to our life (Frankl, 1992, p. 143). This is also true of Moses, the greatest leader our people ever knew, who cried out to God in his time of need.
Emunah
Moses is lonely in pursuit of Emunah (Sacks, 5780). Rabbi Daniel Raphael Silverstein (5786) defines Emunah as faith, faithfulness, and creative imagination. How did Moses navigate his personal storm? Moses’ cries to God showed great courage (Ometz Lev)(Margolius, 5784). Moses actions in crying out to God moved him from despair towards Emunah(faithfulness) (Brody, 2021, 2022) and Bitachon(trust). (Brody, 2021; Margolius, 5784). We will get to see Moses’ faith journey propel to unshakeable confidence in God (Bitachon, Brody, 2021) in July when we read Va-et’chanan (Good, 2025).
“One of the things that makes God different from people is that God is always available to listen.”
-Rabbi David Wolpe
We have found Moses was at the lowest point in acute crisis, crying out for death to God. Moses did not have access to America’s 988 Crisis Line (call or text 988 or online chat at 988lifeline.org in North America) for emergency help in his time of crisis; rather, he had a direct line to God, and he called out in despair, aching for help and relief from his personal Mitzrayim. God answered.
Moses’ healing salve comes in a timely response from an ever-loving and responsive God that reminds Moses he is not alone; that God is ever with him in every moment. Moses is opening to complete trust in God, called Bitachon (Brody, 2021). God even offers another solution to lessen Moses’ level of burden with clear instructions to gather seventy elders to help bear the burden of the transition from enslavement to freedom that is mired in chronic stress, deep trauma, heightened low-level survival responses that are keeping his people from moving forward. A light comes on for Moses of the power in numbers, in fact, seventy wise elders are going to help him and help his people. Now that is a burden that feels ever so slightly more manageable to our holy leader. (Sacks, 5780). Our Sacred Torah shows Moses to be a faithful servant of God or eved ne’eman (Sacks, 5782; Sobolofsky, 2013). Rabbi Lazer Brody has numerous outstanding books, all worthy of a read. You can subscribe to his blog at: https://lazerbeams.com/
I have taken a deep dive into belonging through my active participation in local, national and international Jewish organizations that have propelled my own journey forty years into living life as a person with disability. Aging with such profound physical disabilities, I have learned, has been most challenging. I am so blessed to have an amazing “Modern Day Trauma Team” as I call my healthcare team. I augment my medical care with participation in healing offerings of Jewish Organizations around the globe. It has been so healing to find the beautiful community that is the global Jewish family in meaningful online connections. These beautiful organizations have propelled my healing journey with meaningful connections with chevruta, applying embodied Jewish spirituality to anchoring my daily life in an ever-expanding web of self-compassion, self-care, and, most importantly, deepening into an intimate relationship with Hashem. It is in those moments of personal prayer(hitbodedut) when I cry out in debilitating pain that I feel the ever loving and healing presence of Hashem. It is Hashem’s hand guiding me to cry out to my community and ask for support and help me to find the most beautiful, loving, compassionate supportive care from holy community anchored in Jewish wisdom (Please refer to Ami Gordon reference). My life is forever enriched because I was able to bring my Jewish soul home through conversion in 5782.
Rabbi Daniel Silverstein(5786) has propelled my own learning and integration of teshuvah that has deepened my ability to embrace ALL as essentially good and integral to my journey, in such a powerful way that it has anchored my connection to the holy community he cultivates that allows each of us to show up where we are, in the moment, vulnerable and open and in trust(Bitachon), ultimately building self-compassion and meaningful connections with chevruta. Within the holy community that Rav Daniel so aptly cultivates within his Applied Jewish Spirituality organization, I have been privileged to explore with my healing cohort of three years what it means to live in an intimate and healing relationship with the Divine, growing in my ability to find God in everything I encounter in my daily life engaged with the world and within my inner world. I have gained greater awareness, self-awareness and embodied awareness of the Divine, or Da’at.
I have found that both Rabbi Brody and Rabbi Daniel Raphael Silverstein are exemplary teacher on Emunah and Bitachon. I am privileged to belong to Rav Daniel’s Applied Jewish Spirituality Cohort, now in its third year of study, healing, and community. I have been privileged to take a deep dive in Shabbat Prayer with Rav Daniel and from AJS Instructors, Rabbi Ami Silver and Jewish Educator, Yiscah Smith, how to deepen my meditative practice and embodied Jewish spirituality. I was deeply blessed to participate in a retreat with Zac Newman of Or HaLev around healing after loss. I believe the work of my life, though I no longer work, was as a grief counselor and in crisis intervention. I know from personal experience that grief is ever a part of my life, and I work to integrate it on my healing journey. Detailed references are provided for you below in the References section at the conclusion of this paper, should you wish to learn more these adult learning engagement opportunities.
I have had the privilege of learning with Rabbi Lauren Tuchman and Rabbi David Jaffe of Kirva’s Disability Wisdom as Soul Care, a phenomenal program that has facilitated my own expansive growth through the beautifully tailored deep dive in Mussar and Chasidut to better integrate my life as a person with disability, now forty years into disability, still integrating my able-bodied prior existence, my grief, loss and trauma, to my identity today as a person aging with permanent disability that greatly impacts my ability to function and interferes with my deep need for connection and a sense of belonging. I struggle to bring the totality of my experience to my relationship with Hashem at times. But like Moses, I do cry out. I listen in stillness. I practice solitude and spend time in silence. I am committed to my growth, both personally and in relation to my Creator. I have found great support, care, encouragement and affirmation from within the Kirva and AJS Community.
Moses was able to hear the still small voice of God, not just the thunderous voice at Mt. Sinai, but in silence, he was able to go within, listen and hear God’s reply. God counseled Moses that he was to appoint seventy elders to move forward infused with inspiration from the Divine that will allow this consortium of leaders to also be able to influence their people who are stuck in the mire of survival responses, delusional confusion, and distance from their Creator (Sacks, 5781).
“Now the man Moses was very humble,
more so than any other man on Earth.” Numbers 12:3
Moses’ cries also allowed him to lead by example, showing us how to build a true relationship with our Creator, one that fosters true intimacy and vulnerability. Moses bravely called out to God in his time of need. God showed tender compassion to Moses, listening with care, and offering him a pathway to move from desperation to his next steps.
Moses demonstrated for us to see so clearly that God wants to share our experiences and is open to hearing whatever Moses was feeling in the moment, he helped Moses to see that God wanted to hear Moses’ truth in the moment. God showed Moses (and us) that whatever we are dealing with, God not only will be with us in the depths of our despair, caring about our sadness and our joy, and help raise us with faith (Emunah) and Bitachon(trust) to find a new path forward(All Brody References, 2021, 2022; Silverstein, 5786).
We learn from Moses’ example that the key path for the spiritual life is to go within, to cultivate one’s rich inner life, while simultaneously deepening our intimate relationship with the Infinite Mystery (Silverstein, 5786). In fact, we find that Moses’ deep existential cries and descent into mental health crisis began to shift as he became still in silence, attuned to his rich inner life and his highest desire for relationship with his Creator. Moses’ inner work elevated his journey from despair to inspiring others with influence to make meaningful change manifesting against the stagnation that despair gets the win (Sacks, 5782).
Attuning his perception to his rich inner experience, Moses reflecting on his past experiences, was able to gain a higher awareness(Da’at) that is beyond the chronic stress, survival instinct, to an elevated consciousness imbued with humility and free choice, to emerge with the realization that he and his people could grow not in spite of what happened to them, but because of what happened to them. Moses moved us from Why to How. Moses gave us a glimpse into the early awareness that by being present in the holy moment that is NOW, he and his people could leverage their experience of constriction to make manifest meaningful change that would result in a positive, greater good for all.
What I am describing is the positive defense mechanism called sublimation. I was privileged in post-doctoral training to learn from a gifted, wise Jewish psychiatrist who had a generous and compassionate heart to be fully present as a witness, relying on his decades of medical training and his life as a Jew. He taught me that sublimation is the only truly positive defense mechanism. One was turning their acute crises and healing towards advancing systems change for others. I was so fortunate to have been mentored by a Jewish professional, and to find across my career that many of my colleagues aptly demonstrated how to infuse with greater understanding how our sacred Torah richly imbued the fields of psychology, psychiatry, cognitive rehabilitation, and grief work with insights that propelled modern mental healthcare. Rabbi Geisinsky (2023) writes eloquently in Detroit’s Jewish News about Jewish Leaders, and I encourage you to treat yourself to his wise insights.
Returning to the wisdom learned from my professional mentor, defense mechanisms generally operate out of our conscious awareness and help us navigate the stormy waters of trauma and stress response with alternates that help us stay afloat amidst all the choppy experiences of chronic stress and trauma. That is, by definition, a good and beneficial thing. It is also entirely egoic in its preoccupation for preservation of the ego. Rather, when one sublimates, it is a signal to them and to the world that they are evolving beyond survival responses and opening to just how they can use their constrictive experiences to manifest positive change within themselves and great system change within the world. This is an embodied action, not emerging from a nervous system hijacked by grief, loss and trauma. That is a magnificent propulsion in consciousness out of survival based, ego stances, towards a meaning oriented, purpose driven way of living. It affords a step in free choice to use the so-called negatives and entirety of experiences to find a new and greater way of being in community and, most importantly, in holy relationship with the Divine (Silverstein, 5784).
In fact, all is for God and every experience is about being in active relationship with God (Brody, 2022; Silverstein, 5784). Moses relied on his great strength, humility, to humble before God and go deeply into silence and listen for God’s healing grace and wisdom. Moses came to know himself as our ancestors knew him, Eved Hashem, God’s humble servant, and lived his life on the spiritual path of devoted service to God by living in intimate relationship with the Divine, surely an exemplar of influence to us all.
Influence can and does emerge when one is able to propel themselves towards action of sublimation that allows us to work to change the world in partnership with other like-minded change agents who are acting on their expanded conscious choice and building awareness of what can be and does need to be changed to allow for greater meaningful involvement of all people who are created in the image of the Divine(Sacks, 5782). Rabbi Sacks was an exemplary leader who devoted his life to educating others in our Jewish faith. Sacks (5782) urged each of us to do the work that was ours to do. Inevitably, that transformation we saw in Moses’ inner life, not only healed his despair, but it also opened his followers to the expanse of hope and inspiration they needed to move forward in growth and resilience that is the mark of our people.
Moses was healed by his partnership with his chosen elders who served as wise counsel and partners in facilitating growth for the people Israel. What distinguished Moses’ leadership was his highest virtue, humility (Sacks, 5782). Moses led by example that there is always hope. He showed this it is our fundamental responsibility to invest in the future, to be agents of change for ourselves and for others, thereby allowing actions rooted in advocacy to spark systemic change (Sacks, 5783).
Moses led the Israelites with a conviction that righted the stormy path of his followers by his humble knowing that every action he took was for the highest and greatest good of his people and most importantly, in service to the Divine. We find ourselves emerging from the storminess as folks step into key growth opportunities, build relationships, resolve conflict and begin to engage in collaborative action and goal setting. Shared leadership and vision are emerging, allowing groups to fluorish (West Chester University, 2022).
NORMING
Our groups begin the work of norming when there is more comfort in relationships that are being built, allowing for creativity and collaboration of shared decision-making to propel the group towards their new powerful and shared vision. Members have hope that said vision will work out for the benefit of all. (West Chester University, 2022). Our tradition refers this to Bitachon, trust in God without fail (Brody, 2021).
Sacks (5781) so eloquently wrote about just how the Torah clarifies that ALL power belongs to God, our Divine Source. Rabbi Sacks elaborates for each of us to lead we must know the difference between power and influence. Power, he contends, divides and leaves those following more fragmented and powerless. Influence, however, like what is shown and used by Moses and the elders, served to educate the Israelites of opportunities to awaken to God’s Everlasting Presence, to move forward together, while learning from each other, ultimately opening them to more expansive experiences (Sacks, 5781).
Initial growth is propelled by what is learned from the now empowered collective to come together and promote growth and change FOR ALL (Tuckman, 1965). The influence of the elders helps those flailing in survival responses to feel listened to, respected and honored for their experience and their struggle, and encouraged to share and teach their vision and the ways they each can come together with their unique gifts in a shared purpose that will ultimately bring positive growth mindset that frees from the mire of base survival. By doing so, these emerging leaders can identify adaptive challenges (Heifetz et al, 2009) to yield more high-level actions fueled by a desire for meaning and change for all involved. In our next section, we will explore Judaism’s stance on power and influence and how it impacts our actions as agents of social, organizational and systems change, through tikkun olam.
PERFORMING
Our group evolves into the performing stage when we are fully functioning, flexible and adapt in partnership of advancing our shared vision. We act in unison to support manifesting the collaborative goals we established, and the work is done productively and cooperatively (West Chester University, 2022).
Rabbi Geisinsky (2023) reflected on how influence rather than power distinguishes us as a Jewish people. Rather than conforming to the status quo, we are urged to take action to make our world a better place to be for all. Ours is the work of generations of families passing on our holy tradition of doing what is right and just, not to exert power over others, but to empower them to promote change through shared commitment and responsibility.
Our Jewish tradition honors each person, created in the holy image of God. We delve deeply into challenging false idols. We cultivate a vision of a world based on justice and compassion for all (Geisinsky, 2023; Silverstein, 5786). The teachings of Rebbe Nachman of Breslov emphasize that brokenness is necessary to reach a higher place. Each of us is a part of God and God made us for this role, equipping us with a soul that has divinity within and agency from free will. The Talmud emphasizes and clarifies how we can bring our light to the world, by being an agent grounded in our heart center, anchored in compassion. We must hold the paradox that we are physically separate and one with the Infinite One to truly understand that God enlivens all at all times (Fiegelson, 2024; Silverstein, 5786).
Rebbe Nachman (Silverstein, 5786) showed the way of illumining the truth that God is on the side of the oppressed. Each one of us is truly unique and has holy work to do based on our experience. We are called to illumine the Truth that bringing forth the quality of compassion(chesed), depends on our awareness (Da’at) of Truth, that each of us is created in God’s holy image. Each of us must grow our awareness that we are part of the Ein Sof, the Infinite One. From Hashem’s perspective, everything God does is compassion. When we cry out for relief from suffering, we must accept God will give us compassion. Our goal must be to be closer to Hashem. How can we turn from Hashem if we see the Infinite Creator is in everything. It is time to embrace that all our self-destructive tendencies are putting the yetzer hara in the driver’s seat. Our whole Torah, our Tradition, the Zohar show that our action is about fixing with love what we can fix (Silverstein, 5786).
We must look at others and see them as part of the Ein Sof. We must do the internal work of feeling our feelings, compassion for our own experience, to bring compassion to others in need. Moses was exemplar for us that we, too, should bring our challenges to the Infinite One, that we too, hunger deeply to be in relationship with Hashem. In striving to help others, we must focus on the goodness we find in them. When we do focus on their goodness, we often find that they, we and the situation are elevated for a greater good. That is sublimation of the highest order. We bring voice to this greater good, activating higher consciousness to our mitzvot. This is also true when we apply it to our communities. It changes organizations and systems when our leaders act to cultivate our communities by deepening our connection to our Divine Source (Silverstein, 5786).
“To pay attention, this is our endless and proper work.”
Mary Oliver
Jewish Adaptive Leadership
Judaism has been adaptable for millennia to dramatic changes. Our ancestors show us repeatedly that we are an adaptable people, able to cause change in the world, creating new ways of thinking, offering distinct value orientations, shaping the larger world in diverse ways, from art to theology. The difference has to do with navigating change versus enacting change. Adaptive leadership, Sacks (5784) contends is Judaism’s highest form of leadership. It is required when not only individuals need to change, but systems need to change. When what has always worked, no longer does. Our leaders act to inspire us to change, while remaining in relationship with the Divine. Change requires us to act to change. Change is scary. What can I count on to be constant in this time of change? What if I am prone to despair because change is so difficult?
Sacks (5784) wrote that Adaptive Leadership is, according to the Torah, the highest form of leadership. Though all leadership initiatives are fraught with challenges, Jewish leaders often strive for communal and societal change, relying on collaboration and innovation to do so. Sacks relied on modern researchers to augment his contentions. But I most treasured his reflections on our Torah to guide us, as Jews, despair does not get the last word. We must act with courage, the kind of courage that arises from our convictions. What a beautiful, poignant and powerful lesson.
Adaptive leaders embrace the reality that conflict is the norm not the exception in the activity that is leadership.
Dr. Tali Zelkowicz
Befitting our reflections on When You Raise the Lamps, I would like for us to explore the pioneering work of Na’Aleh literally “we will rise” in advancing Jewish Adaptive Leadership. I was so pleased to see an organization dedicated to advancing Jewish Adaptive Leadership. Their website offers clear delineation of what are its guiding principles and core practices. I wish to offer you a simplified summary, aimed to tying it to the Adaptive Leadership we learned about from Moses on this weeks’ Parashat. I respectfully urge you to visit Na’aleh’s website( https://naalehbaltimore.org/about-us/) to learn more about their important work in advancing Jewish leadership. Na’aleh means “we will rise” and the actions of this profound leadership organization is to help emerging leaders and organizations who could advance their goals using this leadership paradigm can benefit from their important works. Their work also gives us pause to reflect on how Moses used Adaptive Leadership to propel our ancestors forward.
Jewish Adaptive Leadership focuses on individual experiences brought by each contributor, leadership development, and how the Jewish tradition infuses leadership for success. Na’aleh is guided by three foundational principles:
Leadership is an activity and anyone can lead.
Anyone can become a more effective leader.
They aim to bring together professionals and lay volunteers for expansive partnerships.
Na’Aleh relies on 7 Core Practices to help individuals grow in leadership skills:
Cultivate Character Traits (Mussar)
Nurture Relationships (Chavruta)
Awaken to the Web of Connections(it’orerut)
Open Self to Sacred Purpose (K’dusha)
Build Enduring Partnerships (Brit)
Design Creative Solutions (Yotzer)
Lead with Your Whole Self (Manhigut)
“To help people find the strength to change is the highest leadership challenge of all.”
Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks
Rabbi Geisinksy (2023) writes with great clarity how Jews have emerged as leaders in many areas. As Jews, we are willing to be different, not to assimilate, to live our faith. We rely on our faith traditions to cultivate communities, while still being a minority population, to propel systems towards change, tikkun olam. We live and serve with purpose and meaning.
Rabbi Sacks reflected on Moses’ actions considering the teachings of Harvard Professor Ronald Heifetz (2009) who showed that individual and systemic change require distinguishing between technical and adaptive challenges. Technical challenges, quite simply, are experienced when a person experiences a problem and must go to another for a solution to said problem. Adaptive challenges are a greater challenge because we find ourselves to be a part of the problem requiring solution. We must accept that what once worked for us, no longer does so. For most of us, this is when we need a big dose of inspiration to find a new way forward (Sacks, 5784).
Adaptive leadership is called for in systems/organizations when what once worked or was seen as acceptable, no longer aligns with our higher vision of what our organizational system can become. We seek greater insights into what our community needs. We begin to imagine that we can adapt our present circumstances in a way that allows for substantive change. (Heifetz, 2009).
We answer the call to responsibility to partner with God and others to make meaningful change that allows each individual, who contains their precious, unique spark of the Divine, b’tselem Elohim, to be able to step forward and answer the call of community, knowing that what they are creating in a visionary partnership will yield a holy result: A more vibrant, welcoming, inclusive organization that serves the highest and greatest good of all(Sacks, 5784).
Like our ancestors we become self-motivated, responsible, self-governing, agents of visionary change, thus opening a new generation to a new way to be in greater freedom, flowing with possibility in community. Rabbi Sacks imbues our understanding that the greatest challenge faced by leaders is to help individuals to have the strength to change. When we partner together with our leaders, inspired by our ancestors’ example, in responsible action with our community in service to God, our work becomes an agent of redemption and transformation (Sacks, 5784). We become leaders.
Inclusion
Inclusion is the invitation of organizations to partner with individuals in need of accommodation to create and cultivate an environment, a culture, whereby all are welcomed, valued, and respected as they are. Wise leaders rely on organizational data to build inclusion initiatives that foster greater acceptance, respect, and a sense of psychological safety for all who enter an organization (Fogelman).
New York City based social worker, Faith Fogelman (2017/5777) writes extensively from a Jewish orientation about the unique challenges within the Jewish community to help all who want to participate to be engaged within their synagogue, its educational offerings and its social events. Lack of knowledge and assumptions about the needs of persons with disabilities may cause resistance to establishing disability protocol that welcomes greater participation in synagogue life for members and visitors who are interested in engaging in all offerings of the synagogue community.
Large organizational leaps can be made to promote a more inclusive and welcoming synagogue space when rabbinic leaders stand firmly in support of developing initiatives to make positive change through the development of committees filled with synagogue staff and volunteers that act to make substantive change from disability perspectives. Each of us must step forward to make our organizations more welcoming, and avoid what Jewish Musician, Eliana Light (2026), calls “synagogue privilege”.
“Disabled people have wisdom that matters-not in spite of our disabilities, but at least in part because of them.”
Rabbi Julia Watts-Belser
It is crucial that disability accommodation initiatives include in committee leadership those who are most directly impacted by their personal need for their synagogue to become more accessible. This requires actively seeking lay leaders who experience any form of disability, whether it be physical, emotional, learning, cognitive or other experience that precludes one’s active engagement and full participation in all the offerings of the synagogue. Rabbinic leaders can model the very suggestion God gave to Moses: seek the help of wise elders who can be appointed to help navigate your work. Immediately, those lay leaders who have already demonstrated interest and passion for this accommodations development process will come to mind. Seeking member input also allows new volunteers with active interest and a personal stake in decisions made allowing their greater participation and active involvement will surely step forward to contribute. Rabbinic and staff leaders can ask who our community leaders are, who can lead this initiative to help us make positive changes in creating a more inclusive, welcoming and accommodating physical space for those who most need it to be fully engaged. Invite those very folks to the table to contribute to the discussions, the planning, and the execution of data driven goals (Davidson-Bruder, 2024; Light, 2026).
Heightening disability awareness and growing inclusive policies and practices begins with creating community awareness. Regularly communicating with those who attend synagogue services is key. I am privileged to serve on my own synagogue’s Belonging Task Force Committee for Disability Accommodations. It is so uplifting to see the passion that persons with disabilities, caregivers, advocates, professionals, and leaders of other Jewish organizations bring to advancing the goal of creating a welcoming community for each person to belong and engage fully with synagogue life. We have taken numerous steps to support our Executive Leadership Team’s commitments to expand disability accommodation and inclusion in all areas of synagogue life. Practices and policies require active and expansive communication initiatives. Relying on announcements at the end of shabbat services, inviting disability advocates to present short, yet meaningful initiatives to the membership and to the Board of Trustees can be invaluable. In today’s technology environment, communicating our disability initiatives can easily be interwoven into news bulletins, event announcements, advertisements for educational offerings or social events, on organizational websites, among others.
Actions taken to increase awareness that a synagogue is actively engaging in the work of making their synagogue more welcoming, more accommodating, and more inclusive should be reflected in membership and enrollment forms, thereby allowing greater ways of ensuring that initiatives are reaching those we intend to serve because not all disabilities are visible, nor are all persons with disability necessarily willing to disclose their unique needs for accommodations(Fogelman). I developed a simple checklist for my synagogue’s Accommodations Leader to gather information from members who contact her, in the hopes of simplifying data collection to grow and evolve our belonging initiatives. Revisions will be made by the committee to ensure the first draft becomes a document of value to the collective effort to expand belonging initiatives to the greatest number of people.
Faith Fogelman (5777) ably writes about how to engage with members and visitors to a synagogue that is actively engaging in the work of making their physical space and their spiritual space more open, welcoming, and accommodating. Continually reinforcing that all are welcome, as they are, is essential to the fundamental belief in Judaism that we do not view the individual as defined by disability, rather we see them as they are, created in the image of the Divine. The more an organization advertises and educates about their organizational values, mission and vision and does the important work of “walking the walk and talking the talk of real change around accessibility accommodations, creating a welcoming and inclusive space to gather and worship and learn, will slowly release barriers to full participation of all who wish to engage more fully in the task of belonging to their synagogue community.
Belonging
It is a fundamental human need we all share: to belong to others.
We hunger for the opportunity to share meaningful interpersonal relationships and interests. We want to collaborate with others on meaningful goals for ourselves and for organizations/systems we care about. Belonging also serves the fundamental need to share values and experiences, while simultaneously reducing our uncertainty, in such a way that we can take risks for our own goals and in partnership with others for shared goals. Ultimately, belonging in groups offers us acceptance, support, and a shared sense of identity. Inclusivity is fostered and shared values are acted upon in meaningful ways (Baumeister; Murphy).
Recently, I was privileged to witness some of the planning for an inclusive Seder at my synagogue, hosted in partnership with leader advocates at Jewish Family Services here in Denver. Their powerful handout clearly showed how Passover relates to our lives today:
“Freedom in the Passover story is not only about leaving the land of Egypt. It is about removing whatever narrows human dignity.”
I gratefully acknowledge the important work of Carol Morris and Erica Baruch, powerful leader advocates within Jewish Family Services of Colorado. Together and with their organizations they are demonstrating the power of organizations coming together to advance belonging was foundational to preparations for Congregation Emanuel’s Seder experience. It began with our Executive Leadership committee calling to convene a Task Force to cultivate a deeper, more meaningful sense of belonging within our congregation. Three groups were chosen to be the focus of this initiative: LGBTQIA and Allies, Inter-faith Families, and Disability Advocacy and Accommodations, the latter of which I am privileged to be a part of committee work.
I was not a part of the deeply thoughtful and integrated planning that prepared this meaningful seder, of which, I participated online from home, due to my daily experience of devastating chronic physical pain and chronic exhaustion. Ever grateful for the vast offerings that have emerged from this careful planning process by these extraordinary leaders that are part of the charge to advance greater, full participation of people who experience all types of disability with meaningful, consumer directed accommodations made accessible for full participation and inclusion. When each person can show up as their most divine self, thus sharing their unique gifts, we find that the experience and the community are enriched (JFS, 2026).
Our committee is committed to tending to the narrow places in today’s world that limit full participation of everyone with disability who would like to be more engaged, involved, and fully participating in our shared community. Our committee plans for hallmarks on our sacred calendar, so that actions are done early to make sure, ideally, nothing is left off that could be beneficial, and most importantly, that no one who wishes to be fully engaged is unable to do so. We are continually updating our communication with our members.
Our entire congregation was invited to participate in a carefully developed survey commissioned by our Executive Leadership Team to assess the needs of members of our congregation, and we were able to extrapolate important needs from people’s meaningful replies and active participation in the congregational survey. Together, we strive to engage respectfully with congregants who have so much wisdom to share, to guide us to partnering within departments within our congregation and our greater community to make shabbat services, Torah Study, holidays, and social events more accessible for anyone who desires to be present and participate. We are continually asking what is needed and what could be refined to make our physical space more welcoming, accessible, comfortable and expansive to joy found in belonging.
“Do not separate yourself from the community.”
-Hillel
Conclusion
The Kotzker Rebbe was once asked: “Where does God dwell?” to which he replied, “Wherever you let God in.”
(Reb Menachem Mendel of Kotzk, Poland, 1787–1859)
It is my hope in my somewhat scholarly exploration of the concept of belonging, particularly as it relates to belonging within Jewish community paired with reflections on my personal journey to belong to my chosen religion, my congregation, my community, and, ultimately, my global Jewish family has inspired you to reflect on your own journey and where you find that you belong or to pursue the meaningful connection of truly belonging, if you are not currently experiencing a relationship with an organization that allows you to be included and to belong. As it relates to increasing accommodating physical spaces and a welcoming community that helps each person to feel a sense of belonging, we must focus that it is up to each of us to partner together to create the future we want.
As I reflected on Mose’s journey, what stood out to me is the notion that it is the community that calls out to those who want to be a part of inclusion initiatives to cultivate a physical space allows access in meaningful ways to persons with myriad physical, intellectual, and mental health challenges to fully participate in the spiritual life of a synagogue: in Torah Study, Shabbat Services, festivals, seders, High Holidays, adult learning, social events, volunteer opportunities and within every event that breathes life into a community. When we Raise the Lamps of Inclusion and Belonging, we must partner with those who live with disabilities, caregivers, advocates and partner organizations who share similar goals to make meaningful change. We must shine the light on what is working, what needs to change, and how we can move forward to propel our priority of making our Jewish communities, both in person and online, spaces of welcome, inclusion, and belonging for every person who shows up to engage with our mission and vision. This likely will require us to think in new ways from new perspectives.
Technology has been a powerful means of allowing us to engage with Jews in our home community, within our state, nation and within the global Jewish family. As persons with disability, we may find that technology connects us to our best opportunities for full engagement in adult learning, Shabbat Services, High Holy Days participation and engagement, and opportunities to meaningfully connect with like-minded Jews on our spiritual growth journey. As you peruse the References section, you will see the amazing Jewish organizations of which I have been privileged to participate.
Community, engagement, and belonging can be facilitated through technological avenues. We find Torah Study and meaningful adult learning in virtual spaces. We cultivate community through texts, emails, What’s App chats, cards, and letters. We get to follow Moses’ great example and be vulnerable with God and with our community and receive support, care, and encouragement. We bond with chevrutas, spiritual learning partners who allow us dive deep in applying embodied Jewish spirituality within a dyad built on trust, respect, and friendship. We can come together as like-minded individuals in small groups, chavurahs, to cultivate online spaces that are not only welcoming and engaging but help us and others to have a sense of belonging and meaningful connection.
Personally, I have had to rely on experts in technology to cultivate an online space for me to be as engaged as I can be within the ever-present experience of pain in my daily life. Special thanks to Connor Law and Colin Newton for their technology brilliance ever guiding me to deeper engagement in my Jewish life, and to the brilliant and creative rabbis, Jewish educators, and Jewish organizations and their Executive Leadership Teams that have used their imaginations to find ways of cultivating community that are different from what may have been first envisioned. Special thanks to my fellow disability advocates who greet me with a warm smile and welcome, knowing if they are seeing me in person, it has taken everything I and my sweet service dog, Chase has to be there. Their warmth and kindness help me know I belong.
May we each find, regardless of what personal challenges we may experience in our daily life, a spiritual home within community that supports our engaged participation with our rich, shared traditions in Judaism. May our individual Jewish life be enriched within holy communities that embark on the sacred task of cultivating an environment that is physically accessible, warmly welcoming, offers custom tailoring of the environment that fosters full participation of individuals who want to share their gifts. May we partner with Jewish leaders, lay leaders, volunteers and advocates to create communities that when we raise the lamp to shine on our full and engaged participation, we know the community that greets us in the spirit of b’tselem Elohim, that we are created in the image of the Divine, and not only welcomes us to come in, but asks us to belong. May we each find those communities that we want to create a spiritual home within are calling us to community, to belong to each other in shaping a better future. When we raise the lamp and illumine our understanding of our ability to be in community, may we hear the call of community asking us to belong exactly as we are.
In the spirit of the above prayers, I would like to close with poet, liturgist, rabbinic student, and author, Alden Solovy’s prayer that we may find our place.
G-d of love,
Help us to be present for each other,
With generosity of spirit,
Generosity of understanding,
And generosity of blessings.
Help us to see the wonder and majesty
In our differences.
May we all find our place
In service to Your holy name.
© 2023 Alden Solovy and ToBendLight Reprinted with Permission of the Author. https://tobendlight.com/2023/03/for-the-disabled/
Please visit ToBendLight.com to sign up for periodic emails.
Concluding Remarks
“You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to desist from it (2:21).”
Pirkei Avot, Ethics of the Fathers
As we deepen our roots in cultivating spaces, physical and virtual, that allow for the full participation and inclusion of individuals with disabilities, may we each find the community(ies) that invite us to belong. We must not shy away from changes we can make and should make to allow any person with disabilities who wants to be more fully engaged in Jewish life be afforded the opportunity to do so. We must pursue funding and grants that allow important goals to be achieved. We must keep showing up, acting with our leaders, fellow advocate volunteers and act in service to each person we hope will find a community to belong. And in our belonging, may we deepen our relationship to each other and to God. May we walk in faith(Emunah, Brody, 2021, 2022) and from strength-to-strength(Rheins, 2026; Silverstein, 5786) that comes from complete confidence in God(Bitachon, Brody, 2021; Good, 2025; Margolius, 2024; Silverstein, 5786) to heal the vulnerability of isolation, and move into Tikvah, the hope that anchors us in connection because our soul knows with complete confidence that there is only God and God has us in every circumstance. In so knowing, we affirm ein od milvado(Brody, 2021), knowing we have acted in alignment with our Jewish values and in our holy connection to God and to each other to shine the light to make the changes needed to make our holy communities true spaces of welcome, inclusion, and belonging.
Ken Y’Hi Ratzon, May It Be So…
Shalom v’Ahava,
Pam
References
Hello Friends, This is an exhaustive list of references I looked at after spending time in quiet contemplation of our Parashat, Beha’alotcha. I wanted to share in detail with some containing comments for you that relate to some things I shared in the above paper. I hope you refer to authors who’s writing touch you. I absolutely love doing research and engaging in scholarly endeavors. This reference list is not presented to you in any particular format, i.e., APA, MLS or other, it is intended to give you a detailed dive into my process. Titles and full names are provided when known. Appendix A will offer Global Crisis Resources that I found online for your resources.
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Hi sweet Pam. I’ve been thinking about you so much and made a healing meditation for you. May it bring you comfort and peace. From 2/7/26: https://vimeo.com/1162898759
Hineni with Ami: Jewish Spirituality in Motion
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For the Disabled - To Bend Light | To Bend Light
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APPENDIX A
Global Crisis Resources
as found in online search 05/17/2026
Detailed crisis resources for locations around the globe are listed after References in this document. Please ask for help if you are in crisis. If the number listed, does not immediately answer, please call the emergency number for your country.
United States of America, Canada: 988 Crisis Line
911 EMERGENCY
Call or text 988 or go to: https://988lifeline.org/get-help/
Israel: 1201
Extensive Resources can be found here: https://www.nbn.org.il/life-in-israel/emergency-resources-life-in-israel-2/emergency-resources/
United Kingdom: 112 or 999
European Union – widely lists 112
Alphabetized List of Countries:
African Suicide Prevention Association: 2203249852
Australia: 000 131114
Austria: 112 116123
Belgium: 112 1813
Brazil: 188
Denmark: 112
Finland: 112
France: 112
Germany: 112
Greece: 112
Hong Kong: 18111
India: 112
Ireland: 112 999
Italy: 112
Malaysia: 999
Mexico: 800 911 2000
Netherlands: 112
New Zealand: 111
Norway: 116 123
Philippines: 1553
Poland: 112
Singapore: 1767; 995
South Africa: 112
Spain: 112
Sweden: 112
Switzerland: 112
Thailand: 1323
Pam(she/her) is an avid, lifelong learner, advocate, and former psychotherapist specializing in cognitive rehabilitation therapy, complicated grief and trauma. She lives in Colorado with her husband of nearly four decades, Tucker, who is a CPA. The couple share three adult children: Emilie, Meaghan, and Connor, and have four grandchildren: Vianne, Seraphina, Ezekiel, and Zoe. Her family delighted in her conversion to Judaism in 5781.
She is pleased to belong to Jewish organizations locally, nationally and internationally, and so grateful to learn from the amazing Rabbis and Jewish Educators who’s offerings enrich her spiritual journey. She is deeply blessed to belong in community with fellow adult learners who come together to engage with rich Jewish texts, and to serve, advocate and live by their Jewish values. She is ever grateful to her wise, compassionate and beautiful chevruta: TJ, Rubi, Susan, Annie, and Liz, who help deepen her spiritual practice and share their love of Judaism and the rich wisdom of our shared tradition. Her life is wholly enriched through Applied Jewish Spirituality, especially Mussar practice, Torah Study focusing on middot, the Jewish calendar and mysticism, embodied healing and mindfulness practices, and hitbodedut which help deepen her relationship to Hashem through these sacred practices.
This is her first contribution to the Disability Torah Project, and she thanks you for engaging in this somewhat scholarly and conversational offering.
