The Daughters and Individualism
by Rafi Josselson
Throughout my life, I’ve encountered adults who didn’t view me as “Rafi”; they viewed me as a liability, an annoyance, a problem, or something to hide. No school, no program, no matter how hard they tried to be inclusive, was perfect. As well-intentioned as they might be, time and time again, people ignored who I was and instead viewed me as an object; they forgot my “name”.
This week's Torah portion, Pinchas, deals with this problem: How do we remember one’s name?
In Bamidbar Chapter 27, the narrative shifts to the daughters of Zelophehad. The daughters enter the scene with a plea: “Let not our father’s name be lost to his clan just because he had no son”!
Let’s slow down. What is happening? Zelophehad, their father, is dead. While their father died during Korach’s rebellion, he was not part of the rebellion; rather, he died for his sin, which is not specified in the text. The daughters immediately establish that their father is an individual. He made mistakes, had faults, and faced problems, but he should not be lumped in with, or viewed through, the actions of others who had rebelled.
The daughters continue, establishing that their legal circumstances differ from most other Israelite families. During this period, an individual's memory was preserved through their property. As a patriarchal society, property transferred to an individual’s male descendants. But their father, Zelophehad, had no sons, only daughters.
The daughters won’t let this stand. Individuality should trump a broken system. So, they go to Moshe. They advocate for their father’s name, for their unique legal position, and a just outcome. Moshe is unsure of how to rule. He asks Hashem to weigh in on the matter. Hashem’s answer is sharp and simple: the daughters of Zelophehad speak “right”.
Such a response is not insignificant. Hashem is the all-knowing, all-seeing creator of the universe. Hashem recognizes that such a position is not only correct, but just.
The patriarchal inheritance of this story parallels the exclusive spaces of today. Both are systems elevated by the societal majority. Both systems limit individual dignity.
The patriarchal inheritance found in the story would have cruelly wiped Zelophehad from history. The daughters challenged societal norms, and Hashem agreed it was unjust, and Israel must act differently. It’s not just about not placing a stumbling block in front of the blind; it is about removing it altogether.
We live in an age where inheritance is not determined by male offspring. But we still have a long way to go when it comes to recognizing and valuing individuality. Sexism, racism, homophobia, antisemitism, and ableism still infect our society and remove the dignity of so many. But this has led to another problem, where, yet again, individuality isn’t recognized. Troublingly, when an injustice occurs, individuals are often labelled as either oppressors or the oppressed. The complex psychological, social, and historical factors that may be behind an incident are ignored. The individuality of an incident is stripped away to feed a larger narrative. Just take the ongoing catastrophe in Gaza. No one can deny that innocents are dying. But to blame this injustice on the “Zionist oppressors” negates how we came to this moment. This tragedy has come about from Hamas rule, anti-Semitic hatred, and a terrorist attack that killed over 1200 Israelis and took 200 hostage.
The oppressor/oppressed mindset has had deadly results. Jews are now seen as the ultimate oppressor, leading to tragedy: the arson of Governor Shapiro’s home during Passover, the murder of two Israeli embassy staff in Washington D.C., and an attack on Boulder Jews who were calling for the release of hostages. Individuality was ignored, and this did nothing to help the innocent Palestinians and Israelis who are seeking an end to the current conflict. Rather, it just put Jews under threat and has made it more difficult for opposing groups to come to the table.
On the other hand, I see another troubling trend, a movement to reinforce systems of injustice. Looking at this through a disability perspective, I see troubling attempts made to cut Medicaid, a health secretary calling Autism an epidemic, and the president blaming disabled individuals for a tragic plane crash.
This is a dangerous path. Reinforcing or adding discrimination is not acceptable. Neither is seeking to destroy society in the pursuit of justice. Instead, let’s look back at the parsha, where Rabbi Jonathan Sacks Z”L adds a compelling alternative. He comments that when the daughters went to Moshe, they were “invoking their rights as individuals”. When they encountered a broken system, they came with compassion and a solution. The daughters didn’t call for Moshe to be killed and Hashem ousted; they came and advocated for themselves.
In June, I graduated from High School. At my graduation, I faced a moment where I needed to invoke my individual rights. I was placed in the center of the bleachers at my graduation ceremony, which I knew could lead to a sensory overload. I needed to sit towards the side of the ceremony so I could limit sensory exposure. My principal wasn’t thrilled. He had spent hours putting together a perfect ceremony, and now, here I was coming to screw this up. I don’t blame him. And, I’d assume most people, if placed in his position, would find my request an annoyance. But if something couldn’t be done, I wouldn’t be able to participate in the graduation, and my dignity would be erased. There are two paths to response here: anger or solution. Anger would have meant screaming or pleading my case. All I would accomplish would be riling my principal up and further diminishing my dignity. Rather, I went to my Dean and we decided upon a solution that both prioritized my needs and addressed my principal’s frustration. The graduation ceremony went off without a hitch.
The Daughters of Zelophehad remind us that when confronted with an injustice we can neither stand by it or counter with hate; rather, we must invoke our dignity and rights as individuals. Most individuals out there are good actors, and like my principal, they are open to solutions that meet both the needs of the individual and their own concerns. And what happens if the person you deal with is not a good actor? Remember you are not alone. Allies will be there to help if you need to escalate to legal action, on leaving a discriminatory institution or for organizing a communal response to hate.
Shabbat Shalom.
Rafi Josselson is an autistic freshman at Binghamton University. Rafi is a sought-after speaker on disability inclusion, especially within the Jewish community. He has spoken with groups from various denominations, ages and geography - from snowbirds in Florida to elementary school students in Maryland. He also has written blogs for MATAN, for his website, and for Jewish Disability Inclusion News. For the past year, he has been hosting the only podcast focusing on Disability with the Jewish Community: B'tzelem Elohim. Rafi hopes to spread a message of Empathy, Inclusion, Awareness, and, Acceptance through his work. For the past three summers Rafi has worked at Ramah Day Camp in Nyack as a camp counselor, and he is looking forward finding other ways to be involved with the Jewish community on campus.
